umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
