I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
