i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
