i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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