Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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