Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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