so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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