We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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