My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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