Are we in a gay sports bar?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
