five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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