Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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