Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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