no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
