So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
