I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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