mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
