Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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