so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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