I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize