I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
