My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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