I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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