The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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