Your face is a jimmy john
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We are two peas in an std pod
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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