I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
