Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
