she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
