Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize