I wanna passion pit in your ass
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
