i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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