Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
