Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
why is half of my head shaved?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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