i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
