I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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