I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize