drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
