Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
