dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
