I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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