Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
