That's intense
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize