I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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