Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
