Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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