Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
