The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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