worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize