what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
