I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize