remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
