just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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