I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
