After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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