why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
In America we eat man semen.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
