with your own penis?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
