So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
