there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think I sprained my soul last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
