she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
