You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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