Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
