It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
