Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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