I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
