whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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