As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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