I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
