Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize